Hat tip to Ed Sheeran for the title. I’m not a superfan, but I respect his creative journey and what he’s achieved—it’s pretty remarkable. Not know the song? Prepare for the ear-worm to enter your brain.

Hey Reader,

Years ago, someone said something to me that stuck:

Now I am not entirely too sure it's that cut and dry, but nevertheless it hit home.

If the people around you don’t align with your values—or worse, make you feel like you have to mask who you really are—then it’s less like that you’ll thrive. That kind of environment suppresses growth. What we need are people who see us, respect us, and genuinely want to see us succeed.

This isn’t about cutting people out of your life.

It’s not about auditing your friendships and tossing out the ones that don’t “offer value.” It’s about understanding the shape of your personal environment—the shape of you—and noticing how the people in your life have influenced who you are and who you’re becoming.

Here’s a simple exercise or feel free to use my free Google Sheet Template:

• Make a list of 5–10 people in your life who have had the biggest impact on you—personally or professionally (vertical axis)

• Reflect on what it is about them that’s shaped you.

• Consider which values you admire in them, and how they show up in your own life (horizon axis)

• Ask yourself: Are your relationships helping you grow across the different dimensions of your purpose? Are you top loaded in one specific attribute?

In my own reflection, I use a framework that maps six personal values I hold dear across the horizontal axis (your version may look different). Then, I list names along the vertical axis—mentors, collaborators, friends, even past managers. And I note how each person supports, challenges, or exemplifies those values. It’s not transactional—it’s reciprocal.

These are people I admire and also want to support and grow alongside.

I won’t list names here—some of you are likely reading this! But I know who they are. They’re the ones who tell me the truth. Who call me out. Who hold me accountable. And who keep me aligned when things get noisy or uncertain. That kind of authenticity is rare—and it’s priceless.

If you’re feeling out of sync at work, or stuck in a fog you can’t quite name, this reflection might help. Sometimes we over-index on a single type of support or influence, and miss out on the diversity of thought and energy that fuels whole-person growth.

Just like in design, balance matters. Too much of one input creates blind spots. We need a constellation of perspectives—people who challenge us, nurture us, inspire us, and hold us steady. That’s how we grow, and it’s how we ensure our work—and lives—stay in motion and in service to something greater.

That’s what this is about.

Thanks, as always, for reading. If this resonated, I’d love if you shared it with someone who might benefit from the reflection. And if you have feedback, drop me a note—I genuinely value hearing from you.

Until next time,

Gerry

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Gerry Scullion​ Founder & Designer Connect with me on LinkedIn | Join our Directory | Write a podcast review for This is HCD Podcast​

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